I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Found your dick twin last night
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
