Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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