oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
