you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
try to milk me bitch
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