I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
