when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
