Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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