Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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