Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
