Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I still have a little drunk in my system
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
