Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
