i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
