She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
