she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
