I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
someone threw a dead crab at me
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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