That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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