HIV tests are more positive than that guy
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
