oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The feeling are messing with the penis
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
