But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
