we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
