i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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