There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Come share oat with me in your robe
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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