So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
