Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
