then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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