Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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