I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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