I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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