You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
