I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
