it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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