ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
