after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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