...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
this just has baby written all over it
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
