My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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