I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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