So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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