Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
