HIV tests are more positive than that guy
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
