I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you would pick up someone in the library
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
