I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
