In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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