Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
