i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
