You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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