bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
