I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
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