You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
