corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
