so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
