I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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