She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
