he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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