Don't you send me to vm
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
