Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you will always have a special place in my vag
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
