Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize