no, he came in my armpit
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
