U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
