What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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