Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
