I hate your face
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
