come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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