Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize