I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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