once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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