Redeem this text for a blowjob
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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