The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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