I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize