We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
