just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
